Frankie Pena
Identify the weak thesis statement:
I’m going to write about Darwin’s concerns with evolution in The Origin of the Species.
• (A) is the weak thesis statement because it just says what the essay is going about and you are not post to describe the essay.
-Or-
Darwin’s concern with survival of the fittest in The Origin of the Species leads him to neglect a potentially conflicting aspect of his theory of evolution-survival as a matter of interdependence.
An important part of one’s college education is learning to better understand others’ points of view.
-Or-
Although an important part of one’s college education is learning to better understand others’ points of view a persistent danger is that the students will simply be required to substitute the teacher’s answers for the ones they grew up uncritically believing.
• (A) is weak because it shouldn’t be your personnel opinion in the thesis statement. Once you add your personnel opinion then it just becomes a argument.
By inventing terms, such as “loose fit” and “relaxed fit”, the jean industry has attempted to normalize, even glorify, its product for an older and fatter generation.
-or-
The jeans industry targets its advertisements to appeal to young adults.
• (B) This has no point of objective and how would they direct the advertisements to just the young adults. This is going to require a substantial amount of proof.
Othello is a play about love and jealousy.
• (A) is weak because is just has a opinion once again with just an opinion there is no thesis. This doesn’t have nothing we can branch off and make strong points with.
-or-
Although Othello appears to attack jealousy, it also supports the skepticism of the jealous characters over the naïvete of the lovers.
The songs of the punk rock group Minor Threat relate to the Feelings of individuals who dare to be different. Their songs are just composed of pure emotion. Pure emotion is very important in music, because it serves as a vehicle to convey the important message of individuality. Minor Threat’s songs are meaningful to me because I can identify with them.
• (A) is weak because the writer is just putting down his opinion and it is all over. Without a subject that we can find evidence for there is no thesis.
-or-
The punk rock group Minor Threat uses emotional lyrics to appeal to their target audience, which considers itself individualistic and therefore the lyrics must convey a message of individuality.
Here is my thesis:
Tim O’Brien was born in Austin, Minnesota, October 1, 1946. Although as a child spent most of his time in Worthington, Minnesota a really small country town. Soon a graduate with a BA in political science at Macalester College. The same year he was drafted into the Vietnam War. After spending 1969-1970 in Vietnam, O’Brien returned and began a course at Harvard University. This course was specializing in government and politics. Although landed a internship in Washington post and later on became a full-time journalist. Well after writing many post O’Brien struck success in writing stories and that is when O’Brien showed just how impacting his stories could be on the world.
It occurs to be strong to me because it has a simple point and the evidence to proof is in his writings. That is why I wrote the thesis statement, it has a strong
